I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
I am thankful that God blots out our transgressions and removes them as far as the east is from the west. Yet, I must admit I struggle with the term “starting over.” I was introduced to a Christian song today that speaks of this very concept. Granted, this was a beautiful song. However, I found myself struggling with the very phrase designed to bring about peace…”starting over.”
You see, I don’t want to start over! [pause]…There was a time in my life that I would have given anything to hit the rewind button or at least the RESET! Yet, God’s promise reveals a greater purpose for my pain…to share, to testify, to reveal, and to reclaim.
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want Jesus to use my story of unforgiveness to heal a believer’s bitter soul.
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want Jesus to break the chains of a believer’s self-doubt through my life’s circumstances.
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want Jesus to shine the light on Satan’s lies when he told me I wasn’t good enough or smart enough so that young men and women will know that they too are worthy in His eyes.
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want Jesus to be my witness to the unbeliever who doesn’t see how his life can be any different.
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want to watch the Holy Spirit flood a room full of men as the words of my testimony fill the space…[Did you hear that?…yes, that’s the sound of chains breaking!]
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want Jesus to be heard through the song of a cautious child who learned how to rely on God’s strength in order to stand tall as a Christian leader.
No, I don’t want to start over; instead, I want my prayers from a once tainted tongue to pierce the darkness because Christ goes before me.
You see my friends, I don’t need to start over! I know God has washed me clean. Instead, I want my story to be used to heal others – however God ordains. Listen carefully dear believer, Satan may use those around you or certain circumstances to evoke your oppressive past. Yet, 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
To that I say, “You can’t have my story Satan! God allowed those events to pass through His protective hands so that I may learn to trust Him fully. You won’t suppress any part of my being in your darkness. The truth will shine light on your lies and God’s people WILL be healed!” In Jesus name amen.